The egalitarian myth that Hochschild documents in this chapter is the upstairs-downstairs agreement to combat the problem of Nancy doing all the work in the ‘second shift’ at home. It is a delusional system that convinces both Nancy and Evan that their problem has been solved and that their responsibilities are now equal at home. Emotion work is the work of trying to feel the “right” feeling in order to keep everything “fine”. It relates to the egalitarian myth as it is another aspect of the delusional system, and works to pretend that the gender roles and responsibilities at home are equal while masking the gender discrepancies. I definitely see this division of labor in my own family. My mother carries all the responsibilities in the second shift at home, and though she only works part time, she does all the work at home with little if no help from my father.

The “ideology of domesticity” focuses on the language of affect rather than of hierarchy. The three constraints it places on the organization of work in our society include the employers’ entitlement to demand an ideal worker separate from family work, husbands’ right to live up to this work ideal, and the definition of duties of a mother framed around care-giving. This ideal of domesticity existed in both hunter and gatherer societies as well as colonial America, where mothers were expected to raise the children and cook for the family, while men were expected to hunt for food or work and protect and support the family rather than care for it. Under domesticity, personality, emotional expressiveness and market work are all gendered as well.

Williams argues that women’s disadvantaged position in the work force is a result of their self-selection into jobs that require less education and skill. Thus, sex differences in the occupation and wages are not caused by discrimination but by the free choices made by men and women. I do not agree with this argument, but rather that the history of the development of society has created constraints against women in the labor force. While the disparity may not be due to direct discrimination, it is due to the historical long-term discrimination that has been established.

The household division of labor in lesbigay families is much more egalitarian than in heterosexual families. Although a persistent commitment to equally dividing up household responsibilities exists, many studies fail to make a clear distinction between what is considered equal and what is considered fair. Most lesbigay families do though achieve this almost equal distribution of domestic work through a broad and inclusive conception of domesticity. These differences are based on career flexibility, a focus on female-identified professions and specialization in domesticity of one partner.